I'm here to make a confession...
I am afraid.
I'm not afraid of just anything...or everything for that matter. It is very specific. I am afraid of losing her.
or these guys...
and this one.
I think it rears it's ugly head the most when I have a new baby...I always have that fear of something happening to one of my littles, but the one that grips me the most, that is the hardest to push from my mind is putting my Ember down for her nap and coming back to find her not breathing. I think of this literally every day.
There is a Psalm that I think of often, "What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Most times this really helps me control my fear but not necessarily with this particular one. And I think it is because only one person can control this aspect of my life and that's God. It also gets worse with age because I learn of more friends who have lost infants. I know I have readers who have experienced this personally or have good friends who have. My heart goes out to you!
Why did I write this post?
I'm not sure. Maybe someone's gonna read this who struggles with fear...every time I lay Ember down to sleep I ask God to help me with it.
Ember is calling me now...but tell me, do you struggle with fear also??
I don't know why I visited your blog - the title piqued my curiosity, I guess. I'm glad I did though, because your fear is my greatest fear, too. My infant grandson died in my care, and the fear that it could happen again still haunts me. I am praying that with time, that fear will lessen. I encourage you to treasure these precious moments with your little ones, thanking God for each day that you can spend watching your children grow. God bless.
ReplyDeleteLosing my kids is my biggest fear, too. I actually can make myself sick worrying!
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